Tuesday, April 19, 2011

MIssin you baby

   It's so funny, but I enjoy writing on this board b/c it's like therapy for me.  I don't have
more than a handful of followers, and I doubt they read this blog.  But for me it's good.
I am amazed to say that I was pregnant.  I had a life growing inside me, but it was way way
tpo short.  6 weeks if that according to the RE.  Well it ended up being 9 weeks by the time the
baby completely stopped growing.   I couldn't believe the blessing that we were able to get pregnant on 
our first attempt of IVF.  It was surreal.  I guess I built myself up so much for the possibility that it 
wouldn't work, that I forgot that the possibility of miscarriage was there.  Maybe too I felt that if God let
this miracle happen, it would be for the whole pregnancy until we got to hold that darling in my arms.
But it was not for the whole pregnancy.  It was a short but oh so blissful 6 weeks.  And to say the least....
I am missing you baby.  Everyday.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I wish I had a microscope

 Seriously,  I wish I had a microscope to look inside my uterus to see what is going on.  Quick update:  We finally with the help of amazing family, friends, and the Grace of God made it to our first IVF.  I can't believe it!  I am so excited and grateful.  6 1/2 years after trying to figure out how to have a baby.  We get to this point.  After so many discussions, tears, plea bargains :-) We are here!  No matter the outcome (which I pray is a baby) we are so lucky to be fortunate to go through this process.
  So about that microscope.  Wouldn't it just ease our minds to be able to see how the embryos nestle into the cushy lining and grow grow grow?  In my mind I am playing this visual over and over.  Welcoming these tiny beings into our lives.  It's a miracle that we even got this far.  And now we wait and hope and pray.  All in all it is God's will and I take comfort in the fact that we have done all we can do and the rest is up to the Universe.  
Happy in Waiting, Anxious and hopeful.  Trying my hardest not to take those hpt.  ha!