What to do next

We all come to these times in our lives where we must decide what to do next.   What is the best decision.  How will we pull through.  Some of us reach this crossroad frequently.  Others not so much.  But what if you literally can not move forward?  What if you stay at the crossroad forever?  Is that even an option?  I surely hope not.  

    So many days I wake up and think....what if today God decided to bless us with a child as a surprise.  What if today I don't get my period because I am pregnant and not because I am in menopause.  Would that heal all our scars.  Would that make my relationship with my husband all better?  I don't know.  I don't know because it has never happened to us.  Will it ever?

Will I ever feel like I am a good wife because I am the mother my husband always dreamed I would be.  Will I ever see my husband be the father I have dreamed him to be.  Will we ever be the parents we both envisioned when we committed till death do we part.  

    The hardest part is when do you finally decide that the pain of getting over infertility is less than the pain of passing on your genes, carrying a baby, and being with that child from day one.

How do I pick the next road?